Mastering the Kita Eingewöhnung
Starting daycare is a significant milestone for both children and parents. This period, often referred to as Eingewöhnung or “daycare adaptation” is scary for most parents and worse when our little ones cry, which tugs at our heartstrings.
Understanding the process, knowing what to expect, and being prepared can make this transition smoother for everyone involved.
What is the Eingewöhnung for?
Do we really need it?
Now that you have found a kita spot, it’s time to get your child used to it so that they can slowly get to know everyone there. This adaptation period is called the “Eingewöhnung” and can last anywhere from 4 weeks to 2 months, depending on your child.
In Berlin, children usually start going to kita when they complete one year of age. At this point, they are eating solids, taking about two naps a day, probably still using diapers and maybe saying a couple of words. Typically, they have spent most of their time with their you, who have been on Elternzeit (parental leave) taking care of them.
So now that it’s time to leave them in the care of “strangers”, I’m sure you’re worried about how they will manage. This is exactly what the Eingewöhnung is for: to make a gentle and smooth transition.
If you are at the beginning of the process, read this post about how to find a kita in Berlin.
What is the Eingewöhnung?
On the first few days, your partner or you will accompany your child to the kita and spend about half an hour there. They will have a chance to play and have their first interactions with the other children and the educators ( German: Erzieher/innen).
In the next phase, you might be asked to leave the room and let your child be alone there for some time. This phase is usually the hardest for parents, because you will hear your child crying and your first instinct will be to run over and hug them. But stay strong! Cry if you have to, take headphones and stay distracted with a podcast (you can try The Confused Mother podcast)
Over time, you will be asked to increase the distance and time spent alone. And soon you will be able to leave your child there for a nap as well and then transition to full day.
Preparing for the kita
- Talk About It: Discuss the upcoming change with your child. Use positive language and explain what they can expect. Reading books about starting daycare can also be helpful. Even if they don’t speak or understand everything you say at this age, they will still read your emotions and attitude. You can also talk to the kita about your fears and expectations to make sure you are on the same page about it.
- Establish a Routine: Consistency is key. Start adjusting your child’s schedule to match the daycare’s routine a few weeks before the transition. This includes meal times, nap times, and play times
- Stay Positive and Calm: Children can pick up on their parents’ emotions. Staying calm and positive can reassure your child that everything is okay. Children learn to respond to situations and people from their parents. So if you stay positive about the kita and talk about it enthusiastically with them, they will also respond positively towards it
- Goodbye Rituals: Develop a consistent and quick goodbye routine. Prolonged farewells can increase anxiety. A simple hug, kiss, and a cheerful “See you later!” can work wonders. Don’t drag it out and make it quick, so that they don’t have too much time to panic that you are leaving them
- Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on the adaptation process. If something isn’t working, be open to adjusting your approach. Flexibility can make a significant difference. In some cases, months of Eingewöhnung are unsuccessful. In that case, speak to the kita and pay attention to your child’s cues. You might need to take a break and try again later or even change kitas if your child is really struggling.
- Sleep schedule and eating independently: You’re probably wondering how your child will manage in the kita since they currently have at least two naps a day. But they learn by looking at the other children and the transition will be very quick. The kita educators will also help the small children to eat initially until they learn to eat on their own.
Falling ill after joining the kita
When babies and toddlers join a kita, they are likely to fall ill very often, especially in the first winter. Unfortunately, this is unavoidable. You will go through a long cycle of colds, coughs and other illnesses. As I said, there is no avoiding this, and can be a long and frustrating time, because you will also fall ill.
So here are some things you can do to take care of yourself in this time:
- Take supplements like multi-vitamins and drink ginger-lemon tea regularly.
- Maintain hygiene: if your child is ill, don’t share food or cutlery with them. Don’t kiss them in this time and try to keep your face away from them as much as possible
- Wash hands: once they get home from the kita or playground, make sure you wash hands properly
- You can get a flu vaccine in autumn every year (your doctor should be able to offer it to you around October-November every year)
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