Confidence issues after baby

Many mothers have low confidence after having a baby and being away from paid work for a long time. In this blog post, I want to share some tips and strategies to overcome this, especially when you’re looking for a new job.

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Why low confidence?

What exactly happens?

All my job coaching clients struggle with low confidence issues after being away from paid work during their Elternzeit and beyond. 

Does this sound familiar?: You have been with your baby for a while, not at work with your colleagues. Your mind is full of thoughts and questions about the baby? You’ve gone through many physical and emotional ups and downs and probably a lot of sleepless nights. But your leave is ending and you’d like to get back to paid work. Suddenly you realise that you can’t have work-related conversations anymore, and have very little confidence in your abilities.

I totally understand that because I felt the same. It took me a long time to get back into my work routine and to be able to have conversations about work.

How low confidence can hold you back

Getting back your confidence after your Elternzeit can feel really challenging but it’s possible.

Low self-confidence can negatively impact your ability to perform well in job interviews, where you might struggle to effectively communicate your skills and experience or talk about your achievements. A job interview is your opportunity to present yourself as the best candidate for the job. This lack of confidence can also make it more difficult to get back into the workplace even if you are returning to your old job. You might find it difficult to assert yourselves, ask for promotions or raises, and take on new responsibilities.

Without a strong sense of self-belief, you may find it difficult to overcome imposter syndrome and feel that you truly belong in your roles. It is crucial to rebuild your confidence to successfully reintegrate into the workforce.

If you are looking for a new job, check out my blog post on how to find a job in Germany.

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What strategies can help overcome low confidence issues after having a baby?

A lot of people will probably tell you to “fake it till you make it” to gain confidence. I am not a fan of this approach, because it is not sustainable and also means you’re not being your authentic self. 

One of the oldest adages: practice makes perfect, applies in this situation too. It is important to take the first step, put yourself out there, and keep trying until you have internalised confidence and quietened the insecure voice inside of you. Here are some strategies to do that:

  1. Self-care: Most of us have put on weight, suffer hairloss after childbirth, and don’t recognise ourselves. But accepting our new bodies and the changes is an important element of self-care too. Taking time to focus on your physical and mental well-being through activities like exercise, healthy eating, and mindfulness can significantly boost your self-confidence. Feeling good about yourself is an important foundation for success. 
  2. Surround yourself with supportive people: Surrounding yourself with positive, encouraging people who believe in you can help counteract feelings of self-doubt. Seek out mentors, join professional groups, and lean on family and friends. And ignore naysayers or people who will bring you down rather than build you up. You can join The Confused Mother Facebook Group and make friends, find supporters and ask questions. I also organise meetups in Berlin, so sign up to the newsletter so that you don’t miss out on the next events.
  3. Set small, achievable goals: Big goals can be daunting and prevent you from starting anything in the first place. So it is a better idea to break down larger objectives into smaller, manageable steps. Accomplishing these goals, even if they start small, will give you a sense of progress and competence. For example, “find a job” is a big goal. But you can break it down into: create a job strategy, activate my network, reach out to contacts on LinkedIn, update CV and cover letter, and so on. These smaller steps are easier to manage. 
  4. Use affirmations: Repeating statements to yourself like “I am strong, I am brave, I am capable, I am beautiful” may seem silly, but they work! Whenever you find that you’re doubting yourself. repeat your affirmations. Over time, it will get better. Be mindful of your inner dialogue and replace negative thoughts with affirmations that reinforce your strengths and abilities. This can help override imposter syndrome.
  5. Take on new challenges: Don’t shy away from new responsibilities or opportunities to grow. Stepping outside your comfort zone, while nerve-wracking, can ultimately build your confidence as you prove to yourself what you’re capable of. Especially when you go back to paid work, this is important for your own sense of accomplishment. For example, while looking for a job, you could step out of your comfort zone and reach out to your contacts with a personalised message. Putting yourself out there can be challenging, but rewarding.

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Finding the Right Support with Job Coaching

Even with all the preparation in the world, reentering the workforce after becoming a parent can still feel overwhelming at times. This major life transition is so much easier with an expert guide by your side. As a job coach specializing in helping new mothers return to work, I provide personalized support to help you rediscover your confidence and thrive in this new phase. 

Do you want to learn more about how coaching can help you? Read more about how job coaching empowers mothers.

If you’re a new mom in Germany feeling unsure about returning to work, I’m here to provide the guidance, tools and encouragement you need to restart your career with confidence and conviction.

Choose your job coaching program and let’s get started! 

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The Confused Mother Podcast

Do you want even more content on motherhood? Here is The Confused Mother podcast, where I talk to mothers and experts about everything related to motherhood and work. Click below to tune in on Spotify or Apple podcasts:

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